by Annie 

April 16, 2021

make a life you love

Before you can start creating a life you love, you have to figure out what you want. I know, this sounds totally obvious, but stick with me. There’s more here than meets the eye.

We all want to wake up every day excited about what’s in store. If that’s not what’s happening right now, how do you go from where you are now to something more fulfilling? The first step is to get clear on what you actually want, not what you think you’re supposed to want or what you think is “realistic” for you to have. I’m also not talking about the easy stuff like what kind of car you want to drive or imagining your dream vacation. It’s time to dig deeper.

Our lives are multi-layered tapestries weaving together our work, relationships, hobbies, and physical health. And that’s just the high-level stuff! We have an entire inner world made up of all our past experiences, personal narratives, thoughts, emotions, and visions for the future to contend with as well. 

In order to figure out what you want, you’ve got to go past the surface and explore who you want to be, how you want to feel, and what you want to spend your precious time and energy on. Let’s dive into each with few ways they will help you get the clarity you want so you can make a life you love.

Who do you want to be?

Let’s get all existential up in here for a minute, shall we? When it comes to thinking about the person we want to become, there are still more layers to explore. These encompass everything from how you want to treat yourself and others to the ways you show up and interact with the world around you. Oh yeah, and don’t forget about taking care of your internal space! I’ll go more in-depth in another post, but here are a couple questions to get you thinking about the person you want to grow into.

  • What do you want people to say about you when you’re not in the room? 
  • What needs to happen in order for you to be that person?

If you want more, check out this blog post all about your journey of self-love and embracing the person you want to become.

How do you want to feel?

There are many out there who tout the power of visualization, but I’ve always had a difficult time getting a crystal clear image of the “stuff” I want. For me, it’s much easier to identify how I want to feel about my life. Start by making a list of words that describe the life you want to have and how it feels. Inspired, supported, adventurous, peaceful, and impactful are just a few to get the wheels turning. 

Once you have your list, try the following practice for each word. What would it feel like to be “inspired”? Now close your eyes and feel it! Try to sit with that feeling for thirty seconds or so. I love to start my day with this one because I get to take all those awesome feels with me into whatever I’m doing next!

What do you want to do?

We all get the same twenty-four hours in a day. How do you want to spend them? In order to figure out what you want out of life, you need to know what you want to do with the time and energy you have to spend. What activities and practices do you want to fill your days? What experiences do you want to have?

For me, I discovered that I want to make time for learning, community, play, creating, and being outdoors. This means I’ve made reading part of my morning routine and I take a walk outside every day for some fresh air. Being an entrepreneur, I get plenty of opportunities to create and I make sure to spend time participating in the communities that help me feel inspired and supported. Once you’ve identified which activities boost your spirits, find ways to make more space for them in your life. 

Journaling Helps to Figure Out What You Want

I know there’s a temptation to answer these questions in your head and move on. Consider this your invitation to slow down and engage the process on a deeper level. I’ve discovered there’s magic that happens when we take these thoughts and move them through our hearts and out onto paper. It sticks in a totally different way. 

Writing these thoughts and feelings down has some incredible benefits for our overall well-being. When you’re having a tough day or feeling stuck, you can go back and revisit what you’ve written. It really helps to remind you what it is you’re working toward and why.

Remember: Your life is yours to create. Every moment is an opportunity for you to choose a path that will lead you closer to your dreams. They’re waiting for you to say “yes”.  

Share Your Story

What experiences or exercises have helped you figure out what you want from life? What steps are you taking to get there?

I love to hear your insights! Please share them in the comments!

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About the author 


Change Maker. Bold Explorer. Big Dreamer.

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