Start living like the person you want to become. See what opportunities show up. Say “yes” to them. Learn. Grow. Have adventures. Do cool shit! Love your fucking life. That's a great start to your self-love story.
You will always be a work in progress. That doesn’t mean you have to wait to go after the life you want. We get this idea in our heads that we’ll only get to live out our big awesome dreams when we reach some end point where we have it all together. There is no such destination. You can start today.
You Can Only Start From Where You Are
Self-love is all the buzz these days, with good reason. You can absolutely love yourself exactly where you are and still want to grow. These two things are not mutually exclusive. You don’t have to be “perfect” to be loved or lovable. You are already both of those things.
The first steps to becoming the person you want to be is learning to love yourself now and embrace where you are. Self-love isn’t the default for most of us. We’re usually our own worst critics. It can seem like a long, tough road to self-love. It doesn’t have to be. Here are some great practices for turning those defeating thoughts around.
Another important step is celebrate how far you’ve come. It’s easy to focus on how many miles there are ahead instead of recognizing the progress we’ve made. Celebrate those victories.
Give yourself a high-five and a big internal hug when you see yourself breaking old patterns and making changes, even small ones. Yes, you have permission to find joy in your progress while still continuing to improve yourself and your life.
Change Requires Self-Love + Action
You won’t change your life by doing the same old shit. That’s not how this works. If you want different results, you have to make different choices. Simple. But patterns can be hard to break.
We all have our defaults. What are yours? Do you react to situations with irritation where you’d like to be more patient? Do you take on more than you can handle so you don’t let anyone down? These are our patterns, our programming. We’re so used to them. They’ve become our default settings.
There’s good news. You can change them. We can rewire our programs. They aren’t set in stone. Start by paying more attention to what’s happening inside. Recognize when these patterns show up, and press pause long enough to choose something else.
That’s how it starts. Every single time you make a different choice, that pattern loses a little bit of power. Celebrate the shit outta that!
Yes, the change starts with self-love. Then you change your external circumstances with action. Maybe the action is simply making a better choice, but you have to be an active participant. Going through the motions will only get you more of the same. Wishful thinking doesn’t work. You have to decide what you want and act on it.
Who Do You Want to Become?
Ready to start changing your life? Cool, it doesn’t have to be totally overwhelming, but it can feel that way. I get it. Try this for starters.
Decide what kind of person you want to be. How do you want people to describe you? What do you want your life to look and feel like? Get really clear on who that person is, how she shows up in the world, and what kind of actions got her to that place. Fall in love with her (you) and her life.
Start showing up how she would and do the things she would do. That’s it. You’ve already started to become her.
Every time you choose her, give yourself some love, my friend. It takes time and it won’t be perfect. Let go of the expectations and simply engage the process. Self-love isn't reserved for when we reach perfection. It's for right this very minute. When we expect perfection, we will always be disappointed. Perfection isn’t how life works. Life is messy and that’s part of its perfect beauty.
I’m a work in progress too. Over the years, I’ve tried to be less angry, more kind, less judgmental, and more patient. Do I do it perfectly all the time? Fuck no I don’t. But I try. I do my best to pay attention to my reactions and recognize when I’m making choices that don’t align with who I’m becoming. I choose to give myself some grace and continue to try.
Choosing to accept where I am and loving myself for doing my best doesn’t mean that I’m not committed to my growth. I can do and be both of those things at the same time. I have space for that. You do too.
You Have to Choose
Becoming the person you want to be and living the life you want to live takes time to play out, but the journey starts as soon as you decide. You always have a choice. You can choose to engage it or you can choose what’s comfortable. Comfortable isn’t where the magic is.
“Life begins at the edge of our comfort zone.” ~Neale Donald Walsh
This is a quote I come back to often when faced with hard choices. Becoming the person you want to be is going to push you out of your comfort zone. It should! You don’t get anything new by staying in the same place. Growth requires showing up, pushing limits and being willing to try. At some point you will fail, if you choose to truly live. Guess what? You’ll survive.I’ve fallen on my face more times than I can count and I’m still here. None of it has broken me. It won’t break you either. Accept it now. When you go for the life you want, there are going to be challenges and setbacks. So what? Do you want it enough to keep going? You decide. Meh or Magic?
Reminder: Start living your life like the person you want to become. See what opportunities show up. Say “yes” to them. Learn. Grow. Have adventures. Do cool shit! Love your fucking life.
Using Your Voice
Who are you becoming? What is it about her life that’s so exciting?
Share your story in the comments so we can see all the amazing women showing up for themselves!